i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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