you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
