I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
