Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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