You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
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I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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