Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
