Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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