Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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