i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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