can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
