that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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