i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
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Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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