dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
