If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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