i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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