I am puke
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You don't make any sense
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