If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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