don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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