Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
