Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize