Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
