so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
