You don't have asthma, your pregnant
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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