Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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