i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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