the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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