I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
