I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
