I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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