R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
