There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
