what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
