Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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