found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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