I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
