plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
