i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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