Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
