You just made me feel so damn special
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
