i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
