Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
