i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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