It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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