he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
