I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
