I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
