"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
wow bdsm is so cute
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