i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
