I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
