Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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