He felt like a one man threesome
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
There's always time for handjobs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
