College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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