a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
