chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
