I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
