Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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