like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
