she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
