Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
