just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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