Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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