My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
