I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
