Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
