I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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