I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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