You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
