Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
